Today we let our 9-year-old ride his bike to the library by himself. Actually, I rode with him there to show him where to cross, where to be extra careful etc. since he’d never gone by himself before. I have to admit I was a wreck – I realized that I told him to cross the street at a spot that had good visibility on the way TO the libary, but on the way HOME it was terrible. Would he figure it out? Would he be smart and safe? What if he wasn’t paying attention and he got hit by a car? I started imagining the worst.

Now some people may be thinking – what’s the big deal? And really, that’s how I was raised – I walked to school starting in Kindergarten. I took the subway in the suburbs with a friend to the Mall in 3rd grade, and all the way to downtown Boston in 5th grade. But I know that there will be far more people reading this that will disapprove. People say things are different now. There are more people in the world and the world is more dangerous. But really – is it that bad?

We have become a society obsessed with protecting our children. We don’t let them go off to college without calling them 5 times a day on their cellphone. Our kids are carted from one organized activity to another starting at a young age and we are hovering all the way through high school and beyond. Mom or Dad seems to be there always. We worry if we drop them off and leave Little League practice. What happens if Johnny gets hit with the ball after I leave? What if Susie twists her ankle? What if my child walks to school and someone abducts her? We judge parents who aren’t as “careful” as we are.

All this makes me wonder. What are we teaching our children? To be scared and worry about everything? To only feel safe if they are with Mom or Dad? Shouldn’t we be teaching them to be confident and secure? Shouldn’t we teach them tools and strategies so they can do things and make smart decisions and figure things out on their own? That’s certainly the kind of person I want my boys to be when they grow up.

It just so happens that today, when my son earned another notch on his belt of independence, there was a very interesting article by Joanna Weiss in the Boston Globe. In it, she says she insisted that her 5-year-old not wait for her on the front porch while she ran into her suburban home to grab something she forgot. She wanted her daughter to come in – “just in case”. Then she started thinking about it.

To get perspective, she talked to Lenore Skenazy. Lenore is the woman who recently caused so much controversy by writing about letting her 9-year-old son take the subway in NYC. She is now expanding her cause by writing and speaking about Free Range Kids. She believes that we are doing more harm than good by being helicopter parents. Turns out, statistically speaking, you would need to leave your child waiting on the front porch for 750 THOUSAND YEARS before she would be abducted. Really. So I say – let’s let the leash loose on our kids just a bit. I’m not saying we should let them do whatever they want and go all over the place by themselves. I’m saying teach them responsibility and good decision making and let them test out their independence as they grow.

The look on my son’s face when he came home – safely! – today was priceless. He was trying to be very cool and nonchalant – but he was bursting with pride. I knew immediately that we’d made the right decision. Later, I asked him about crossing the street at that bad spot I was worried about. He said he had to wait a long time until it was safe, but he could see the cars before they disappeared behind the bushes so he knew when it would be OK to cross. Good decision.